i HATE this time of year..from now until january...then it starts getting bearable until my birthday when i wish she was still here to go over to her house and have cookie cake and now it hurts to bad to do that with grandpa....
the next week is going to be insanely hard...and to think that it has already been 2 years since it happened....
i hate the fact that i can't sleep because i think about her or i dream about her...sometimes i love dreaming about her because then i can see her face again. i am afraid that i will forget what she sounded like or how she would ALWAYS tease janie and disagree with her, just because (although i have taken it up in following Grandmas footsteps) :)
i miss her SO much and working at a retirement home isn't that bad because i have grandma and grandpas all around me EXCEPT for this next week, i have a feeling i wont be very happy to be there..
when ever i think of that night i think what if it didn't happen...i think that is the worst feeling i have ever had..holding her hand as she breathed her last breath..her hands were always cold, but this was different. this was a different kind of cold..indescribable...
i know that she is in Heaven and without pain and that is
what gets me through this, but still i never thought this would
happen to me..i always hoped that i would never have to go
through this..i always hoped that the rapture would come
before anyone close to me died...
RIP Grandma "D" 10/8/1931-10/12/2006 You will never be forgotten. i love you the most :)
very much in LOVE
At their 25th anniversary
At their 50th wedding anniversary party
12/17/2000
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